Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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