do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
