he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
