Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
