Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Please don't give away my fajitas
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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