the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
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