just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
