margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
