I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Houston, we have a squirter
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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