I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
