A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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