was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
whose ass print is on the piano?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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