my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
