At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
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