First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we made out on top of his cat.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
