WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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