i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
