I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
