The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You are a booty call, not a friend.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
