i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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