I think im going to throw up on grandma
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize