He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
