Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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