Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
