You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
