hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
