you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
