butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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