Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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