you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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