Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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