i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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