Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
