Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
