I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
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