so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
