Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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