You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
