why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
