16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
