hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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