reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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