My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
