sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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