I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
is it fun? or sober?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
