I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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