At least make sure they are 18
Why
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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