Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
