Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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