you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
