birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
