that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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