Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
