Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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