She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
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