How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
you win again, gameday.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
