Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
we're so committed to being not committed
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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