after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
