She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Randomize