so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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