Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
