you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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