you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
