I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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