It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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