why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
