Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
