I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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