I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
