Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
