Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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