When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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