you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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