I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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