the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
