I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
All I want is dick and wine.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize