i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
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